3 Ways Spiritualising Blinds Us From Truth

EPISODE 81 | 3 WAYS SPIRITUALISING BLINDS US FROM TRUTH

The danger of spiritualization or over spiritualizing is not because it's entirely false that the spirit is real, that God can give us grace to operate beyond our human limits. But it fails to honour the whole truth, which is that God did not create us to surpass our humanity on a regular basis, to not honour the boundaries that He has set within our design, right?

That by thinking that we are superhuman or acting as if we are, you know, we have no limits. We make something else out to be God. In this case, we may, without knowing, make ourselves out to be God because we are treating ourselves as if we have no limits.

[00:00:49] INTRODUCTION
Welcome to Becoming Me, your podcast companion and coach in your journey to a more integrated and authentic self. I am your host, Ann Yeong, and I'm here to help you grow in self-discovery and wholeness. If you long to live a more authentic and integrated life and would like to hear honest insights about the rewards and challenges of this, then take a deep breath, relax, and listen on to Becoming Me. 

[00:01:26] Good morning! So, today is day six of my 30 days IG challenge. 30 days where I'm speaking on different themes and topics about the interior journey into authenticity and wholeness. All right, so the name of this series is, I think - was it like "Becoming Whole in Christ". So, if any one of you is new to my account or new to listening and watching and reading my content, I often stress the importance of integration in the interior journey.

[00:02:01] Okay, and by integration, I mean the different dimensions of ourself, of being human, right? The intellectual, the emotional, the physical, the spiritual. And this element of integration is usually the one that's very overlooked and very neglected. And I think for most of us, we don't even know why that's a big deal.

[00:02:29] That is where I came from. I came from a life experience, a journey in which the spiritual life is given emphasis, or faith is made to be very important. Where service and loving others is also instilled in me since a very young age that, oh, that is very important. But I have struggled my whole life to know how to be a follower of Christ that's faithful, that's loving, but who is also authentic and who can love well.

[00:03:06] Okay, so my experience is that as much as I try to love, I often fail. And even when I think I'm doing good, I end up harming. And it's taken me very long to begin to see the truth of why that is.

[00:03:20] So, today's topic, I'm talking about three ways that spiritualizing blinds us from truth. Okay, three ways that spiritualizing blinds us from truth.

[00:03:35] WHAT IS SPIRITUALIZING?
So, what is spiritualizing? Now, spiritualizing is different from spirituality, okay? So, it's different from just referring to the dimension that is spiritual. So, like I said, we are made of different parts, different dimensions. They are all important, they all have a role to play, but they need to come together.

[00:03:55] In a couple of the earlier sessions in this 30-day challenge, I talked about the importance of our emotions, right - of learning to rebuild trust with our emotions. Today, talking about why spiritualizing blinds us from truth, we're going to be revisiting a bit on why it's bad, why it's dangerous that we leave out our emotions and our bodies from the interior journey.

[00:04:21] So, spiritualizing, to give you a brief definition, would be when we reduce our attention to only that which is in the spiritual realm. So, an example of this would be an overemphasis that only the spiritual life matters. When, let's say there's a lot of emphasis on being devout, being religious, that that is the almost like a neglect of everything else. Everything else is less important than God, than our spiritual life, than our spiritual practices, or our religious practices.

[00:05:00] Now, this is not that uncommon for people who have come to value their faith. And from that perspective, of people who do value their faith, they see this as a good thing. In fact, we - and I say we because I belong to that group, or I belonged to that group at one point - where we think that what's wrong with the world is that people don't take their spiritual lives more seriously; that they have no God, so to speak, right, that they do not show any devotion, any faithfulness in, let's say, going to church, going to mass, or in serving in ministry.

[00:05:36] There is a rather simplistic black and white kind of assumption or thinking that if only people were to become more spiritual, they would become better people, they would become more loving people. And any time there's any issue or any problem, we just think of it in terms of there's a lack of faith, there's a lack of discipleship. When we think of discipleship as purely just a spiritual thing that is because they have no God in their hearts. They are not open to God, and therefore, so they - as in, these people that we think are problematic - that's why they have all these problems. Because they don't prioritize their spiritual life.

[00:06:15] So, what I'm talking about today is what can happen when we only think of our journey, our interior journey, in spiritual terms and how that can be very dangerous. I'm going to be very honest, very authentic, very bold in my sharing today. I do not point a finger at anyone because everything that I'm going to talk about today, the three ways that spiritualizing blinds us from truth, I have experienced in my own life.

[00:06:45] These are ways that I have been blinded, and these are ways that I continue to see good people, faithful people, being blinded and being prevented from actually living the life that they aspire to live.

[00:06:57] 1. BLINDS US FROM EMOTIONAL WOUNDS
So, the first way that spiritualizing blinds us from truth - and by truth, I mean like from actually seeing clearly what needs to be seen - from seeing what is important, from seeing what is real, and what the Lord perhaps wants to reveal to us. The first way spiritualizing blinds us, is that it blinds us from our own emotional wounds, and our own dysfunctional patterns.

[00:07:25] Okay, now, a lot of times, those of us who have thrown our lot into being a follower of Christ, into really seeking God, we do so as a way of seeking help, seeking healing, seeking a way out of the emotional pain of our lives. I know many, many other people too, who have great suffering in their lives and they turn to God, right? And that is a good thing. That is a good thing.

[00:07:57] But when we think that this turning to God is only a matter of kind of like escaping into the spiritual realm, then we have blinders on and we can't see those aspects of us that may not kind of fit in the spiritual umbrella. So, for example, we may think that because now I've turned to God, and now because I pursue God with all my heart, I really desire God and I can say I'm doing my best to love God. Therefore, I must be safe - safe not as in saved, okay, different, safe - as in like, we may have this thinking that then I'm a good person, okay or I'm fundamentally a good person and therefore I won't harm people because I am someone who seeks God.

[00:08:45] I think many of you would know from your own life experience that that's not true because you may have people in your life, in your own families, who are very religious, very devout, and very sincere in their devotion. I'm not saying that they're just putting on an act. I'm saying that some of them may even be really sincere in their devotion to God.

[00:09:06] But at the same time, they dishonour you, they dismiss you, they hurt you, and they refuse to take responsibility and accountability for hurting you. That would be an example of how spiritualizing can blind us from seeing our own emotional wounds and our own dysfunctional patterns, right? Because it's possible to be very devout and to take the spiritual life very seriously and to have the best of intentions and to think that because we intend only that which is good for others that surely, surely, we can't be harming others. 

[00:09:49] And if there are some bad results if people act up and tell us that we've hurt them, that it has to be purely their issue. Now, I must clarify we are all broken, right? We are all hurt and I think it's very very rare that the blame or the problem lies entirely on one party.

[00:10:12] Sometimes, many times as well, it's just as much about the other person who may have projected certain issues onto us and therefore, they react badly. Okay, that's also very possible - not just possible, it happens a lot as well. But we can't control what other people are doing, right? We can't control what other people are blinded to.

[00:10:36] We can control, or at least we have some hope of taking action in what we can see in ourselves. And when we spiritualize, oftentimes, we can't see the part that we play, because we can't see how we are acting out of our own wounds. We can't see how maybe we're acting out of our own scripts and that those scripts can sometimes hurt others.

[00:11:02] Now, when our spiritualizing blinds us to our own brokenness, our own emotional wounds, this can become very dangerous, especially if we receive affirmation and we are kind of are rewarded for our spiritual devotion.

[00:11:20] OVER SPIRITUALISING AS A "LEADER"
Okay, so, let's say for example you begin to be seen as somebody who is a spiritual leader. Maybe you're given positions of leadership, right? Maybe you're very charismatic. Maybe you're a worship leader. Maybe you're a catechist. Maybe you're somebody - you're an elder in your church. Maybe you're a pastor, right? Maybe you could be a pastor or a priest or a minister of some sort. What does that mean? That means that within your community, you are now having a lot of influence, you are in a position of power. Now, if you come back into, let's say, just a home, if you're a parent, you also innately have power and influence over your children.

[00:12:05] Now, when you're in a position of power, when we are in a position of power and influence, when there are people who look up to us, when there are people who trust us implicitly, because we are seen as, let's say, spiritual people and we cannot see our own brokenness. Oh, that's a very, very tricky situation.

[00:12:25] That is not only a tricky situation. I'll say that's a very risky situation because when all we can see is the spiritual dimensions of ourselves and thinking that, you know, it is only that which is spiritual that matters, we can very easily miss out on what we actually need to repent of.

[00:12:44] It's very paradoxical and I mean, okay - or ironic, I'll say ironic in this sense, right? Because you'd think that if we were very spiritual, you know, not like being spiritual - but if, let's say, we over spiritualize, that we would be very sensitive to sin. In some ways, we can be.

[00:13:01] But then we only see sin in terms - in the spiritual context. We do not see the connection that sin has in our humanity, in our emotions. So, if we try to just get rid of so-called sinful behaviours without tending to the humanity beneath, without tending to the real human emotional physical needs that we have, we will never be able to get rid of the sinful behaviour.

[00:13:26] And we will continue to just harp on, let's say, trying to find spiritual solutions without solving the actual issue. Now, this can lead to, in worst case scenarios, I'll say, very manipulative and even abusive situations. There could be spiritual abuse, there could be emotional abuse, there could even be sexual abuse. A lot of times these things can happen together, right?

[00:13:57] When you have people who are in authority or people who have power and influence because of their spiritual identity. And they can't see their own brokenness because as far as they're concerned, they're doing their very best just in terms of pursuing spiritual truth, pursuing what they think God wants and when they impose what they believe God wants on others using their authority.

[00:14:23] So like I said, if you are a parent, you have a lot of influence and power over your kids. And if you grew up in a family where one or both parents often use God to kind of like get you to comply, to do or act in a certain way, because this is what God wants, this is what God doesn't want. That's actually a form - it can become a form of spiritual and emotional abuse.

[00:14:51] Okay, so, it could be just within our families, or it could be in the larger community. That's something that's dangerous because, like I said, the first way that spiritualizing blinds us from truth is that it blinds us from the ways we are ourselves needing of redemption, salvation, healing.

[00:15:08] You see, when we can see how broken we are, we may be more reticent in being so certain in using God's name to get other people to do certain things or to comply in certain ways. Okay, so that's the first way.

[00:15:25] 2. BLINDS US FROM OUR CREATURELINESS
The second way that spiritualizing can blind us to truth is that it blinds us from our creatureliness. Okay, what do I mean by that? It blinds us from the fact, from the truth, that we are creatures, we are not God. 

[00:15:41] So, if we are creatures, it means that we are finite and that we have limits. Right, there are limits to our energy, there's limits to our intelligence, limits to our emotional capacity, limits to our physical capacity, right? We need to eat, we need to sleep, we need to rest, we are not robots. And there are very real limits to our abilities as well. When we spiritualize, we can go into this mode where we think that that we're supernatural.

[00:16:11] Okay, now, sometimes harmful things are not because they're entirely false, but because they are half-truths. So, the danger of spiritualization or over spiritualizing is not because it's entirely false that the spirit is real, that God can give us grace to operate beyond our human limits. But it fails to honour the whole truth, which is that God did not create us to surpass our humanity on a regular basis, to not honour the boundaries that He has set within our design, right?

[00:16:53] That by thinking that we are superhuman or acting as if we are, you know, we have no limits. I had a spiritual director once where she told me that that is actually a sin of idolatry. We make something else out to be God. In this case, we may, without knowing, make ourselves out to be God because we are treating ourselves as if we have no limits.

[00:17:16] So, here's a tricky thing. It is very common to - in, you know, retreats or sometimes in in Christian or Catholic schools, sometimes even in churches - to have everyone recite prayers that were composed and written by saints, okay - canonized saints.

[00:17:36] And a lot of times these prayers - for example, the prayer of generosity by Saint Ignatius of Loyola - they have this certain theme about asking God to help us to kind of like give without counting the cost, to labour without seeking reward, to toil without rest, without seeking rest. When you are in a very just spiritualizing mode, these prayers are very beautiful. And I'm not saying that they're not. 

[00:18:00] If you take them within the proper context, they are very beautiful. It's when, imagine if you are so filled with God's love, and so filled with God's spirit, that you pour out of that abundance, so that you can really truly imitate Christ in so called emptying himself - emptying Himself because of the abundance, an outpouring out of abundance. Then it is very beautiful.

[00:18:29] If you have watched my earlier videos from this 30-day challenge, I think in either day three or four, I gave the example of how genuine healthy selflessness is not something that beginners in the interior life can do.

[00:18:42] Kind of like when you look at the Olympians, Olympic athletes, or you look at the prima ballerinas of ballet companies - they move and execute their craft or their sport with so much mastery and elegance and beauty. That's kind of like an equivalent of interior life.

[00:19:00] Those of us who desire to become saints, for example, we want to be able to live with that much mastery and beauty and grace in the Holy Spirit like the saints did; like the saints who compose these prayers, right. That they ask for the gift or the ability to give without counting the cost, etc, etc.

[00:19:18] But that is just a snippet of their life. They went through a lot of growth and probably a lot of learning as human beings before they could reach that level of mastery, of integration, right?

[00:19:36] And I don't know if all the saints are very integrated human beings because maybe they weren't all. But what I do know is that when you aspire to these things, like to give without counting the cost, to labour without reward, to toil and never seek for rest. We are often bypassing our creatureliness and our limits.

[00:20:01] And that is dangerous because when we push ourselves beyond our human limits and ignore the warning signs that our bodies give us, that leads to the detriment, not just of our own bodies, but often to the detriments of the important relationships in our life that are necessary for human flourishing.

[00:20:18] Now, what I do know to be true, and it is scriptural as well, is that we need to always test whatever it is that we do, right? In discernment, we test by seeing what the fruits are. Sometimes, we may not be certain. We may not be sure when we decide something to go about a certain way, whether or not it is what God is asking us to do.

[00:20:40] We may sincerely believe, for example, that God is asking us to just serve without counting the cost, and never seek rest, that if we really give of ourselves because we love, then we will never be tired, for example. The question is, what is the fruit? Do we see that we are flourishing? Are we really coming alive? Are we filled with gratitude and peace and joy? Are we patient? Are we generally filled with gratitude?

[00:21:09] And if we look at the people in our lives and the people around us, the people under our care, are they flourishing? Are they growing, truly growing, flourishing as a human person?

[00:21:19] Are the children that we parent or the people that are under our care at work or in church, are they really blossoming? Are they bearing spiritual fruit in their life? If they are, that would be an indication that, well, what we're doing is right. But if they're not, if the reality is that people are burning out, that maybe you yourself is burning out - you could be burning out and be in denial of it. And the people under your care could be burning out.

[00:21:51] HONOURING OUR LIMITS
And everyone's actually tired and resentful and unhappy, but nobody dares to say it, nobody dares to speak it because they're afraid that if they admit that they are tired, if they admit that they are burning out that they would be seen as not having enough faith, not having enough trust, not being loving enough, not being holy enough, not being spiritual enough.

[00:22:13] Now, I'm saying all this - again I'm not pulling this out of thin air. I lived through this myself, and I have journeyed with many people who fit that description, whose lives are in disarray, whose personal relationships, maybe even marriages, are actually suffering, but they cannot stop living beyond their limits because they believe that that is what God wants. What God wants is for them to just trust Him and have faith and therefore, live as if they have no limits.

[00:22:48] That's an example of how spiritualizing can blind us from our creatureliness, from the fact that God created us with limits, that rest is holy, that boundaries are holy, that we are called to honour the fact and the truth that as an entire body of Christ, we can serve the needs of many, but as each individual person, we cannot meet every need.

[00:23:21] When our doing exceeds our being, okay, like when we're so focused on all the actions that we need to take, the good actions that we need to take - let's say ministry or work and we neglect our being, we neglect what we need to just rest and to be present to others. So, here's the thing, when we over spiritualize, when we're just spiritualizing and we're living and exceeding our limits, we cannot be present.

[00:23:50] We are not present to ourselves, we are not present to God, and we're certainly not present to other people. It's like we interact with one another on the surface, on the outer layer of life, and we actually never see what really matters. Because we can't even see our own tiredness and fatigue and we cannot see somebody else's tiredness and fatigue, right? We expect everyone to surpass our limits.

[00:24:18] ADDICTIVE PATTERNS
Now, people who are in recovery from addiction, okay - so, it could be substance addiction, it could be alcohol or drugs or it could be behavioural kind of addiction. It could be like internet addiction, porn addiction. Some people would, let's say, even sex addiction, you know? Or even the more acceptable addictions like - I don't know - workaholism is actually a form of addiction.

[00:24:39] Did you know that? Right? Anything can be addictive or we can have addictive kind of patterns of behaviour. For some of us, it could be food addiction, some could be shopping addiction, right? There are compulsions and addictions.

[00:24:51] So, when someone seeks help for addiction and they're, let's say, in a recovery, say alcoholism, for example - usually they are accompanied and taught to observe what are the triggers that usually lead them to relapse, right? Because when you're in recovery from certain kind of addictions, it's not just a, you know, "Oh, I'm over it and forever, and I don't relapse". Oftentimes you're always in recovery, you're vulnerable. And you need to know what is it that can make it easy for you to relapse into your addiction. 

[00:25:22] Did you know that exhaustion and self-neglect are huge and very common triggers for relapse? - Okay, for those who are recovering from addiction, any kind of addiction.

[00:25:37] Now, here's the thing, if exhaustion and self-neglect, living beyond our limits, not paying attention to how our bodies are feeling, what our bodies are saying to us that we need, like rest or food for example, not paying attention to our emotions, not paying heed to what they may be trying to tell us that we're not in a very good place - we push ourselves into the way of temptations.

[00:26:07] By spiritualizing, by living as if it's only the spiritual things that matter, by not thinking our emotions and our bodies, for example, are important, we actually make it much easier for us to fall into sin and then for us to, in a sense, deny and rationalize away our sins.

[00:26:30] There will be very deep shame, of course, but we will hide that shame and we will try to feel better by becoming even more spiritual. So, as long as there's this lack of integration, our spirituality is not integrated with our bodies and our emotions, we can often end up in this very vicious cycle where we actually put ourselves Into a position to be tempted and in a position to actually sin and then we run from that sin and continue to make ourselves vulnerable again and again. 

[00:27:07] Now this is also why there can be so many people - and I say this with a lot of compassion and a lot of understanding because I know what it feels like, okay? There can be so many people living, in a sense, secret, double lives. What do I mean?

[00:27:26] From the external appearance, good, faithful, holy, prayerful citizens, and maybe good husbands and wives, good parents, active members in ministry, in the community, all that, you know? Could even be very visible leaders in religious circles, in spiritual circles. So, that's the outside. 

[00:27:50] And I’m not saying these are bad people, in a sense, a lot of them, they are very sincere but struggling because they have, in secret, some addiction, something that they are deeply shameful about; they could be having illicit relationships, there could be marital infidelities or breaking of vows, of even the vows of celibacy, for example. I said I would be raw and I would be honest, and I think, I'm just saying this because these things are true. Facts have shown that they are true.

[00:28:26] Just because we don't want to think about it, we don't want to talk about it, doesn't mean they're not there. And authenticity and integration requires us to be able to see reality and not to be afraid of it. Because God is bigger than all that, right? So, we have to be careful. When we spiritualize, we become blind to our limits and we can be tireless or appear to be tireless in ministry, when really, we are leading ourselves into temptation. Okay, so, that's the second way we blind ourselves.

[00:28:59] The first way that we blind ourselves is we blind ourselves when we spiritualize, to our own emotional wounds, to our dysfunctional patterns in our own life so we don't see where we are vulnerable. Secondly, it builds on that first. Secondly, it blinds us to the fact that we are creatures, that we have limits that need to be honoured. So, we live, surpass our limits, we live in such a way as if we were God. And set ourselves up even more for temptation, right?

[00:29:25] 3. BLINDS US FROM SEEING OTHERS AS HUMAN BEINGS TO BE LOVED
The third way, okay - this is not exhaustive, okay? I'm just talking about three ways because, you know, there needs to be some kind of boundary to this challenge, to this video.

[00:29:33] The third way that spiritualizing blinds us is that it blinds us from seeing other people as human beings to be loved. I'll repeat that, spiritualizing blinds us from seeing other people to be loved. It blinds us from seeing other people, really - full stop.

[00:29:54] It blinds us from seeing another person's pain. It blinds us from seeing another person's humanity. And what that means is we end up seeing people as something to be used because we let ourselves be used. Now, this is linked to the earlier point. If we cannot see our own limits and we always live in a way that surpasses our limits, we will naturally also see other people as resources to be used.

[00:30:21] We don't know how to be present to them because we cannot be present to ourselves. When we are oblivious to our own creatureliness, our own need for love, our own need for rest, our limits, we will fail to see it in others. If we have unrealistic demands of ourselves to, for example, give without counting the cost, if we think that we need to be selfless, just from a very spiritual kind of point of view, without seeing our capacity, or how hurt we are, and that we really need to receive us, then we will also fail to see that in others.

[00:30:56] Usually, we fail to see what they actually need, even when we are reaching out to people in need, we would be doing it in a way that's blind to our own hidden needs. So, if you remember my, I think it's day one and day two of this challenge, when I talk about the need to come back to ourself, to come home to ourself when we have no healthy sense of self.

[00:31:17] Oftentimes, when we are trying to be selfless, we are actually trying to get something that we need. And when we do this in like a very subconscious way, when we are not aware that's what we are doing - that is very dangerous. When we are conscious of our need and we tend to our need, then it no longer is something that's dangerous.

[00:31:37] Okay, because we know we are finite, we are aware of our limitations and we're humble enough to say I need to receive something first, at this point, before I can give. 

[00:31:45] When we over spiritualize, we don't want to see or we can't see our own need and we think we're selfless, we think we're reaching out to someone else. Without our own awareness we're trying to get something in return. That's when things can become dangerous. We can use people without even thinking we're using people. We can get very upset and very defensive if someone else tries to let us know that what we are doing could be harming someone, right?

[00:32:10] Because we can only see our own sincerity. So, we can be very sincere and yet be inauthentic. We can be very sincere and yet lack integration, right? Sincerity is just based on our consciousness, what we're able to see. So, then we will end up in a situation where we're contradicting. Our lives are full of contradiction.

[00:32:31] We talk about sacrifice and service, and we do our best to do that, to sacrifice and to serve, and we cannot see when we fail to love someone. So, many of us are hurt, are so broken because of that. Because the people in our lives that we know, in our head, love us, who sacrifice a lot for us, that serve us, but you know what? They don't actually see us, they don't actually hear us, they don't actually see our emotional needs, they don't attune to us. 

[00:33:03] Because there's no space within them to even attune to their own emotions, to be attuned to their own needs. They cannot attune to us. So, we end up being in a very strange situation that really can cause confusion.

[00:33:18] And also, it's often a cause of, you know - when we talk about let's say, even complex trauma. Because the reality is we are emotionally abandoned, but we think that actually we are being loved. You see how warped that can be? Right? So, whether it's between husband and wife, parents and children, bosses and subordinates, ministry leaders and volunteers, pastors and priests in their congregation, we can end up just seeing one another as a means to an end, even if that end is spiritual.

[00:33:51] So, we think that everyone should be sacrificed for God's kingdom. Everyone should be willing to be sacrificed for God's kingdom. But what is God's kingdom? And what is Christ's message? We can't even do the basic of actually knowing what it is to really love and be present to one another. So, we end up seeing one another as just instruments to be used, problems to be fixed, projects to be undertaken.

[00:34:16] HAS IT HAPPENED TO YOU?
Ask yourself whether that's true of your own experience, whether you're someone who has done that to someone else without knowing, or whether you're someone who had all these things done to you without you knowing. Now very often, it would be both. I'm that person. I thought it was normal because that's the modelling that I saw in my life.

[00:34:41] And so, I did the same to others. And it was only when I began to recognize that I was hurting others that I entered the interior journey of healing, and then I realized what has always been done to me was wrong and there was some injustice there that I never knew was wrong. And being able to name that injustice, to name what was wrong that was done to me, helped me to own and take responsibility and be accountable to the harm that I did to others.

[00:35:11] Spiritualizing often removes that accountability. When we think that everything can be explained by this is what God wants. When we push, in a sense, we blame everything on the Holy Spirit, like this is because, you know, the Holy Spirit moved me to do this and that. We do not take the responsibility that we need to take.

[00:35:33] So, when you see all, like just even just these three points of how they link together, how spiritualizing can blind us from our own brokenness, our own emotional wounds, our dysfunctions, how it can blind us to our humanity, our creatureliness, blind us to the limits that we need to honour so we live beyond our limits regularly and end up having double lives, right?

[00:35:59] And it blinds us to being able to love other people because we can't be present to ourself, to God and to others. So, we aren't able to love people. Now, all the time, when all this is happening, we think we are being good, religious, devout people, okay? Let's say, you know, disciples of Christ. Do you know how much damage we do?

[00:36:22] There are so many people hidden. Hidden because they don't often own up, they don't share that they are being pushed away from God and from church. Because they are actually being harmed and hurt by people who are very devout and very religious. So, many things are hidden within our systems and our structures that make it possible for abuse to happen without it even being recognized as abuse.

[00:36:54] Not being able to see that as spiritual abuse, not being able to see that as emotional abuse, and in so many places, hidden away as well, there may even be other kinds of moral transgressions that happen, perhaps even of the sexual nature, and we just don't know how to deal with them. We hide them, we ignore them because we don't know how to be human.

[00:37:15] We don't know how to be integrated. So, that's why integration is so important. I just want to end this on a rather serious note, but I know it's real. Because I've been becoming more aware of this reality in my own life; how scary it is that when I cannot see my limits, when I cannot see my own emotional wounds, and when I'm pursuing God so zealously, I can become a dangerous person without even knowing. Because I believe that I really will the best for other people, and I could be hurting them in the process without even knowing.

[00:37:54] So, when we spiritualize, some of us, because of the positions that we are in, maybe because of the kind of temperament or gifts that we have, spiritualizing can make us more prone to become predators. Okay, by predators I mean someone who may have influence and power over other people and get something out of those relationships, without us maybe consciously admitting that that's what's happening.

[00:38:19] And when we spiritualize, when there's a whole culture of spiritualizing, it makes some of us, some of others of us, right, more prone to fall prey to people who have that influence and power.

[00:38:32] Why? Because we don't know what it means to be human. We are out of touch with our bodies. We are out of touch with our emotions. Even if something in us is sending a red flag that something about this is not quite right, not quite safe, we may overwrite that with rationalizations and spiritualisations.

[00:38:52] So, when we speak about the interior journey, why the body is important, why the emotions are important, why our mind are important and our spirits are important and why all of these need to come together in a way to live in harmony, to be led, to be governed by our true self, there are really high stakes that are in place.

[00:39:17] Okay, and so, I invite you to consider if you have been spiritualizing without you knowing, it may be the only thing you've ever known. And if that's the case, you may not - I think you may not even have sat through this entire video. Some of you will find this extremely distasteful. You'll be very angry and very upset at hearing what I have to say.

[00:39:39] If that's the case, there's a chance that it's because it's true. and you haven't yet accepted that. And for some of you, hearing what I've had to share may actually bring you relief because maybe I've given you the words to articulate the experience that you've always had but you can't quite put your finger on.

[00:40:01] If that's the case, I hope that this will help you to seek, maybe the guidance and the help that you need. Pray to be led to the right persons who are integrated enough to be able to help you with integration. Okay, so, as you notice, I said pray. So, that's clearly, I'm not saying that prayer is not important, clearly, I'm not saying that spirituality is not important. No.

[00:40:28] God is at the heart of all of this. God is at the centre of all of this. I believe in the Holy Spirit. I believe in the Trinitarian God. I believe that there is grace that brings us beyond our human limitations, but I also believe we are meant to be integrated, to live a life that honours the humanity, the limitation, the earthliness and the fleshliness, the matter that God has given us.

[00:40:52] All right, so, just as before I go off, I just want to say thank you to those of you who have been sending me kind of like your messages to let me know how some of these videos in the IG Live have resonated with you, has helped you. This is why I do this. I mean, I trust that the messages that I share here will find those who are meant to hear them.

[00:41:17] I'm letting go of any outcome. I believe that there is something in these videos That can maybe help you become aware of what you were not aware of before. Okay, so that's it for today's live I will see you tomorrow.

[00:41:37] CONCLUSION
Thank you for listening to Becoming Me. The most important thing about making this journey is to keep taking steps in the right direction. No matter how small those steps might be, no matter where you might be in your life right now, it is always possible to begin. The world would be a poorer place without you becoming more fully alive.

[00:42:07] If you like what you hear on this podcast and would like to receive a monthly written reflection from me as well as be updated. On my latest content and offers, make sure you subscribe to my newsletter, Begin Again. You can find the link to do that in the show notes. Until the next episode, happy becoming!