Reclaiming Our Dignity: Healing from Spiritual Abuse (with Paul Fahey)
Episode 150
In this heartfelt conversation, I sit down with Paul Fahey, a limited licensed professional counselor, retreat leader, and catechist from Michigan, USA. Paul shares insights from his work in pastoral counseling for Catholics who have been spiritually abused and his efforts to educate ministers to be more equipped in their ministry. We delve into the complex nature of spiritual and religious trauma, the importance of language in healing from trauma, and the profound teachings of the Catholic Church on human dignity.
Through personal stories and shared experiences, we explore the critical theme of dignity, how trauma affects our understanding of love and self-worth, and the necessity of creating safe spaces within or away from the Church for healing and authentic connection.
This episode offers a rich and thought-provoking discussion on how we can reclaim our dignity and experience God's chaste, non-controlling love in the midst of a fallen world.
Visit Paul Fahey’s website here.
Documents quoted by Paul:
Read my newsletter post Lament, Hope & Healing: Resources on Spiritual Abuse.
Watch this recording on YouTube.
Follow me on my Instagram account @animann for more material on the integration journey and subscribe to my monthly reflections on Begin Again.
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Introduction to Paul Fahey
01:12 Discussing Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:53 Exploring Human Dignity in Church Teachings
10:32 Understanding Spiritual Authority and Coercion
35:51 Chastity and Non-Possessive Love
47:33 Healing from Spiritual Coercion
53:45 Struggling with Faith and Depression
56:14 Journey Out of Depression
58:29 Role of a Catechist and Therapist
59:50 The Importance of Experiencing Non-controlling Love
01:01:40 Experiencing God's Reverence
01:04:00 The Concept of Theosis
01:11:51 Challenges in the Church
01:15:44 Accompanying Ourselves in Healing
01:32:03 Forgiveness Demands Justice for the Victim
01:37:22 Wrestling with the Lack of Safety in Church
01:42:24 Reality is Greater than Ideas
01:44:35 Final Thoughts and Gratitude
REFLECTION PROMPT
How have I experienced coercion—subtle or overt—in my spiritual life? What impact has that had on my relationship with God, the Church, and myself?
In what ways can I begin to love myself and others with a non-possessive love?
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00:00 - Introduction to Paul Fahey
01:12 - Discussing Trauma and Spiritual Abuse
05:53 - Exploring Human Dignity in Church Teachings
10:25 - Understanding Spiritual Authority and Coercion
34:42 - Chastity and Non-Possessive Love
52:02 - Struggling with Faith and Depression
54:27 - Journey Out of Depression
56:38 - Role of a Catechist and Therapist
57:56 - The Importance of Experiencing Non-controlling Love
59:45 - Experiencing God's Reverence
01:02:05 - The Concept of Theosis
01:09:35 - Challenges in the Church
01:13:15 - Accompanying Ourselves in Healing
01:29:22 - Forgiveness Demands Justice for the Victim
01:34:28 - Wrestling with the Lack of Safety in Church
01:39:18 - Reality is Greater than Ideas
01:41:28 - Final Thoughts and Gratitude
Paul Fahey
Professional Counselor
Paul Fahey lives in Michigan with his wife and five kids. He is a limited licensed professional counselor, retreat leader, and catechist. He is a co-founder of Where Peter Is and the founder and host of the Third Space podcast. He provides counseling for those who have been spiritually abused and produces resources for Church leaders to better safeguard their communities against all forms of abuse.